Imagine you are in a sales meeting where you know the innermost feelings and personal priorities of your prospect? How would that improve your success rate? Well, when you understand and communicate within someone’s values and beliefs you can improve the odds that they will become a client, colleague and comrade.
Turn Prospects Into Clients By Understanding, Respecting and Communicating Within Personal Values And Beliefs
This concept can be stretched further. When we understand our own values and beliefs then we can have everything we truly want and accept that everything we have now stems from decisions made from within these values and beliefs.
Does this mean that if we could change our values and beliefs we could get a different or better result? Consider which of the following statements you can relate to….
*There is safety in ritual and the world is a magical mystical place
*You get frustrated with people who can’t make a decision about what they want
*It is important that everyone feels involved and participates equally
*You don’t understand why everyone has to be happy before a decision can be reached.
*Do you get exasperated if someone won’t bend the rules to get a job done?
* Honor, responsibility and doing what’s right is the most important consideration
* You can’t understand why on earth someone would keep crystals or rabbits’ feet
* You hate it when people decide the rules don’t apply to them
* What really matters is being part of a community and feeling connected
* You take opportunities for your success, progress and compete to win
* Why would your work-mate stay in a job just to get their pension?
* You feel guilt and unworthiness
* Immediate payoffs, respect and looking good matter. Getting power is vital.
* The concept of duty means nothing to you
* You have feelings of inadequacy or not being good enough
* You fear rejection and/or being dominated
* You marvel at people who sacrifice everything for their family
* You are insecure and fear being alone
* Forget the retirement bonus and pension – you want it all NOW!
Perhaps only some of the above will really resonate with you, and others will leave you totally cold. That’s because they describe the feelings of different people with different values.
Can you imagine trying to sell a business proposal by highlighting the potential for massive financial profits to an individual who believed passionately in equality for all, a fair chance for the disadvantaged and connection to the wider community?
What if you sold the same product but switched the focus to the community benefits and the opportunity to enrich the lives of others… the sought after ‘win:win’ solution becomes a reality every time.
Whether You Are Selling Yourself Or A Product, If You Bank On Luck You Will Lose Out
If you are consistently failing to reach your goals, or hit the goal only to be left feeling empty and dissatisfied then a values conflict could be the cause and the solution.
Many NLP professionals believe our values decide how we spend our time and therefore what we achieve. If these values have been passively absorbed this means our important life decisions are informed by values soaked up from the parents, friends, relatives and institutions which influenced our childhood during the Imprint Period between birth and seven years.
Imagine being Richard Branson. Do you think his top value in life is likely to be akin to adventure, or more towards playing it safe and being secure? It just has to be adventure.
Can you imagine Richard Branson saying – ‘We won’t be able to do that because it’s not in the rules’. I doubt it.
How about ‘I can’t leave my job now because I’ll be getting my pension in ten years’. Never!
Did Mother Teresa devote her life to the sick in Calcutta’s slums because her top values were having fun and making money? No. Perhaps you can imagine what her values might have been.
Even if you’re fulfilled in your life, you may be surprised at what pops out when you try this short exercise to find your driving values…
Arm yourself with a pen and paper, then ask yourself this question and brainstorm your answers.
What’s Most Important To Me In Life? Is it peace, wealth, happiness, achievement?
Before you stop writing you must push yourself through two blank spots – where you think you’ve reached the end – but you haven’t. After this take a few minutes to rank them in the order of most important for you.
When I first did this exercise – this is what popped out at the top of my values list of in their priority order…SECURITY. Right down the bottom of the pile was ‘happiness’. What was missing was ‘Fun’ and ‘Wealth.’ At that time I had spent 20 years in local government, always with the nagging fear of redundancy and 20 years in an unfulfilling but secure relationship. I was in a boring, safe and unrewarding job and relationship.
But ‘security’ was my Father’s value, borne from his worries about feeding the family with an unpredictable theatrical career. I just absorbed it, osmosis like, and let it follow me around for the next thirty years influencing my most important decisions. As soon as I understood what my brain was up to I was able to make the change.
Today I run my own business, feel horribly insecure and blissfully fulfilled. Plus…before I do anything I always ask – will it be fun?